Flying Traumas

With the usual long haul about to drag it's hellish way through my life again, I've been pondering the air travel debacles we have experienced as family together.

If you haven't made it to Talc yet, then you should, it is the epitome of all things Kelloggsville.  My family motto is "If it can go wrong, it probably will"*

The last long haul with only 2 hours under our belt, HWMBO put a cup of red wine and bottle on his table.  The man in front dropped his chair back hard, it crushed the cup, knocked the bottle flying and HWMBO spent the remainder of the journey smelling and looking like a wino.  I was tempted to throw my white over him (as instructed by Kim and Aggie) but there are times in life when it is correct to hold back those urges!

How about our flight to Ayres Rock.  Yeh Baby! We got the last row of Business class seats, masses of leg room.  No divide between us and the masses but hey, we got good seats.  Just as we took off there was an odd bang from my hand luggage.  On opening, all was clear, a bottle of sunscreen had exploded in the bag.  It was everywhere. Oh how the air hostesses loved me (not) as they brought bin bags, rolls and rolls of paper towels, oh the mess!  The extra leg room was a god send for stacking the bin bags! Strangely, we have never been upgraded since.

We have spent many fun hours sat on airport floors.  East Midlands to Cyprus in 30 hours.  18 hours in Singapore (nice airport though!).  6 hour delay at Birmingham on Christmas Day (yes we flew Christmas Day..actually it worked quite well).  In total reverse we once spent 20 mins in the terminal at Dubai.  In bound was late, we ran along the travelators to our next gate.  I think the stress of that was worse than being delayed.

We spent a joyous flight with a vegan once whose meals had not been put on board.  She spent 11 hours complaining, I was at the point of raising a cannibal revolution to shut her up when she finally passed out (either through lack of air from talking so much or lack of iron).

And what would you do when on take off, the phone from the pocket of the man in front, slides to your feet and starts to ring?  I'm desperately going "it's not mine, it's not mine" as hundreds of pairs of eyes burn into me (yet again!).

Oh and the ultimate, when 5 year old daughter's temperature gradually climbed higher and higher whilst travelling through the high of SARS.  Many people on the journey wore masks the whole time.  I was dosing her with calpol and the air hostesses, bless them, were bringing ice packs from first class (lovely trays!)  I was sponging her down to bring her temperature down.  The people around me would happily have had her put down there and then.  I knew she only had a cold/flu thing.  A mum knows when something is normal or not, but would they listen?!  Nooooo.  Luckily Australian customs were happy to listen and just for once they let us through the 'native' channel with HWMBO rather than us having to queue with the 'foreigners'. 

Once upon a time, it upset me how disastrous somethings, that seemed to run smooth for others, could be.  Then I learnt how to deal with it...expect it...now every time Mrs Cockup comes to visit it is exactly as planned...simples.

*I'd appreciate a Latin Translation. NB?